Saturday, February 20, 2010

this has to be quick.

I am trying to write this out of my head before my bf gets out of the shower.
He is making me fucking nuts. I know that I am putting stress on our relationship by having gained so much weight, and I feel bad for that, and I am trying to fix it. But he seriously doesn't realize how much this affects me.
Now I can't go an hour without assessing everything I've eaten in a day, how I look, how much I weigh, do tons of wl maths in my head and basically ogle every single person that is in a 20 foot radius of me with a comparison to myself and how I would assess how they look in general. And yes, this tends to make me retreat into my head quite a bit.
Ughhh what the fuck. He is such an angry person and I am so focused on myself I really don't want to fucking deal with it.

1 comment:

  1. if he's an angry person and unhappy with you as you are, maybe he's not the best choice? Either way, remember you are good and beautiful and worthy of love. Those are my silly little mantras that don't actually work :) wish i could be more helpful! good luck little lady!

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