ohhh and also..

I dreamed about a huge b/p that was disgusting. Lets just say I was eating burgers off floor of a mcDonalds. I woke up disappointed, but also feeling full. Which is nice because I haven't eaten anything for like 18 hours. Lean cuisine for breakfast still feels like failing thoooughhhhhh. 230 cals. just have to be careful today.

last day of work ::meep::!

Soooo the last day of work. I thought I would be more relieved or something, but really I feel quite indifferent. hopefully no one is going to make any sweets or anything like that. I don't think they will, because I feel like they don't really like me enough to, but I also tend to feel like that even when its not true, so your guess is as good as mine.
My mom finally got my gym membership approved on her plan so I'm actually excited for starting my new exercise routine in the mornings before school. I like going to the gym at 6 in the morning because its not crowded, but at the same time, its always full of the hardcore girls who are doing elliptical at the speed of light. Both a inspiration and makes me self-concious. But I am going to look just as good soon! :)

Here's hoping for a positive day for me and all of you!!! :) xox

new year. finally.

Okay. So I suppose its a tad cliche, but I am going to put down some resolutions. I have been neglecting my blog because I feel like a failure because I have just not cared about anything for the past month, and like most of my problems, I feel like if I hide, it will go away.
But the whole reason that I made this was to have an honest private journal that no one could find. And so, I know its a few days past new years, but I just finalized all my monetary preparations for school and I am totally ready to kick 2010's ass. If I could just find the self discipline to perfect my body I could really enjoy all the great stuff I am doing instead of thinking how disgusting I look doing them!

1. (and MOST importantly) Make an unbreakable promise to go to the gym every day before school.
1.5 Watch what I eat, try to only consume fruits and veggies.
2. Get the best possible grades. I am insane and even A-'s bother me. I need perfection.
3. Keep my apartment clean, which I have been letting go way too much lately.
which also includes:
-Keep up on dishes!
-Keep up on Laundry!
-Keep papers organized!
-Vacuum every other day!
4. Its hard while paying for school, but I MUST save money.
5. Become addicted to water. Cut back on/try not to ever drink diet coke.

sooooo hopefully this year will be better than last year!!! :)
and here's some fun thinspo to start the year off right::::